Why men don't notice a woman's hints, nor understand them

In plain, simple language, guys don't get hints.

Why not? Because they don't even recognize them. Hints are so clouded with girl code which guys can't even begin to comprehend.

So why do we women rely so heavily on hints when they clearly never work?

We hint that we'd like to go out to eat or to Hawaii.

Our word choices can be so vague that men are often left in the dark about what it is we're saying or even that we're saying anything of significance at all. It all blurs together.

Or we say something like notice anything new, which is as dangerous as does this outfit make me look fat? It feels like a trap to him, especially if past conversations have resulted in anger.

Of course, you know that anger comes from having your feelings hurt. So why don't we avoid that probability altogether by setting him up to win from the start?

You know, one poor husband that I knew was so painfully unaware of what his wife needed and wanted, or even what she liked. He wanted so badly to please her, but he kept tripping over himself in the process.

We were talking about their relationship in one very tearful session, and I asked his wife to share with him just one thing that she liked.

She refused and said with an angry tone, no. I'm not gonna tell him. I shouldn't have to tell him. He should just know.

If I tell him, then he'll do it. But only because I told him to, not because he wants to.

Well, her expectation was that he should just read her mind.

You know, the last I knew, men and women dwell in very different bodies with very different designs and very different experiences.

So what's pleasurable to one is not necessarily the most enjoyable for the other.

How can he possibly know unless she tells him?

And just exactly what's wrong with him doing something that he knows would bring her pleasure.

Okay. I having said that, I really do understand her struggle. Most women are at least a little ambivalent about what they need in some areas of life.

However, life is so much easier when we're direct without being bossy, of course.

I know we weren't brought up that way, but sometimes we need to acquire a new skill and new confidence in ourselves and in our partner.

I hope that helps. Thanks for watching and we'll see you soon.