Why do so many wives look and sound angry? An angry wife can be very confusing to her husband — mostly because he doesn’t understand what’s really going on in the moment. He doesn’t realize that she uses anger as a defensive strategy. She may not realize it herself.

Inside her, something very different is happening — in her heart and in her mind. It all goes back to how different a woman is from a man — a difference that goes beyond the obvious physical differences to include personality traits. Let me explain.

Dr. Jordan Peterson, the well-known Canadian psychologist, notes that women, on average, tend to score higher on agreeableness, which includes compassion, empathy, politeness, concern for others, and relationship maintenance.

Men, on average, score somewhat lower and tend to be more competitive, confrontational, willing to engage in conflict, and less concerned about harmony when in pursuit of a goal.

Women, on average, score higher in neuroticism. That is, women are more likely to experience anxiety, worry, self-consciousness, sensitivity to rejection, emotional pain, and vulnerability to stress.

Dr. Peterson emphasizes the fact that these are averages, not something written in stone for every woman or every man. He’s right, of course. There are too many individual differences to say anything for sure about anyone. He also hasn’t invested the majority of his clinical work sitting with couples who are not getting along. During times of stress, these traits surface — on both sides — in a micro second.

The SCOPE Personality scale in the Prepare/Enrich  @PREPAREENRICH  couple’s assessment is based on this same personality trait model. In fact, it’s one of the first things I look at when I’m starting work with a new couple.

The Relationship Dynamics scale tells me at a glance what’s going on in their relationship — the pattern — the same pattern they have most likely been repeating since they first met.

It’s subtle at first, so they didn’t even notice it back then. Years later, they can’t figure out what happened. She’s always angry, and he’s always defensive. That’s an overstatement, of course, but you get the picture. And anyone who’s been living it out daily for the last decade or so knows exactly what I’m talking about.

But it doesn't have to stay that way.

My Three-Dimensional Approach ► https://DrDebiSmith.com/dance