Making Sense of a Husband's Behavior

A woman is often confused by her husband’s behavior. This is especially true when they’re not getting along.

When she can’t understand why he does what he does instead of what she thinks he should do, she’s overlooking the fact that he is different from her by design. When she interprets his behavior using the correct framework, she can easily identify why he is doing what he is doing. If she understand his motivation to fulfill these four purposes, then what he does actually makes perfect sense.

Through the process of nature and nurture, a man learned how to fulfill four purposes: to protect, to provide, to problem-solve, and to please. He is passionate about each one — first, because he cares — and second, because he feels responsible. A man’s sense of duty is so powerful, in fact, that he will keep working toward these purposes in the absence of any acknowledgement or reward. Of course, he carries a secret hope that his wife will notice.

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Disclaimer: The information shared on this channel is for educational purposes only and does not constitute psychological or medical advice. This content is not therapy, and participation does not establish a therapist–client relationship. Although Dr. Debi Smith is a psychologist by training, she serves here as a marriage educator and couples coach. She teaches the Psychology of Men, Women, and Marriage to help husbands and wives better understand—and love one another—in everyday life.